Date Change and Support System

My surgery date has been changed to September 24. A week later than I had anticipated but that's ok. I'm getting it done and that's the important thing. Today I saw my primary doc to be cleared for surgery. Last thing I need to do now is get my upper endoscopy on Thursday. I've had a colonoscopy or two in my day so I'm not foreign to the whole scoping world, BUT I've never been scoped up top and in fact have had a panic attack in the dentists chair before during a procedure that I needed to have stopped so I could bring myself back down to earth. Anxiety is something I sometimes struggle with. Funny thing is most people that know me don't view me as the anxious type. I'm the gal who is stable and keeps it all together. I am the level headed one that other people go to for advice and can be depended on to keep my cool in times of distress. Hell, I volunteered downtown Manhattan during the 9/11 attacks. If anyone keeps it together it's me...  Except when it comes to my own health. Thank goodness I have some excellent support around me. When I had my band surgery, my brother, his wife and my niece all took care of me after surgery. They were kind enough to take me back to their house and help take after me. All three of them probably have no idea how much this means to me and that it made me feel so much closer to them. I appreciate them so very much. This go around I have a man at home to look after me. Something I did not have before.  My boyfriend has been invaluable. He has talked me down from some emotional ledges. When I have felt defeated and was self loathing he reminded me of my worth and has helped me to see how loved I am. I appreciate him and value him more than he could possible comprehend.  If anyone asked me what was really important to know before going into this process, it would be that you need to have support around you. A support system can do wonders for you. They cheer for you when you're up, pick you up when you're down, laugh with you and even sometimes cry with you. It is important to find a way to have this support whether through a support group, online community or family or friends. Support can be instrumental in helping this process be a successful one. I highly recommend it. 

Devil Inside...

Man o man have I been bad about updating.  I have been really pretty busy the past couple weeks.  I have a close friend going through a personal crisis, and as per usual, I extend myself to those in need around me (almost to a fault at times).  It has been an emotional couple weeks for him (and couple weeks to come for sure as well).  Though his woahs have nothing to do with me really, they definitely have been having an effect on me.  I am seeing that I need to use some of this pent up energy and get more exercise in.  Tonight I plan on

Ah... The Lovely Green Zone...

I will admit, I have been a bit lax on posting compared to usual.  I have been reading other blogs and what not, but being that I was feeling pretty badly, I have slacked up a bit.  I had my second fill of 1.5 on August 1st, bringing me to 4.5 mL.  At first I thought, well wow, this is different...

Am I in the Red Zone?? Help!

I know I've been pretty quiet this week.  I have been having a little trouble since my last fill and have been trying to wade through the water to see if it is just that I need to wait out the problem or if I need to return to the doctor.  

Tequila Meltdown

Well last night I finally had my my meltdown... My tequila meltdown.  I haven't done much drinking since my surgery, and I surely hadn't yet gotten drunk.  For some reason yesterday I got the bug.  I was extra bad with my eating and my boozing.  I had more total calories for one day yesterday than I had at all for one day since May.  My Nurse Practitioner and I had a discussion before my surgery, and we were talking about how just because you have surgery, it doesn't mean that you won't slip up.  You might not be able to have an entire pizza, or package of cookies, but you can definitely find yourself making extra poor choices and feeling a bit like you've fallen off the wagon.  Well yesterday I found that I fell off the wagon, on the ground, run over by the wagon, and chasing after it as I watched it rolling away as I cried "wait up!!".  Gio, my NP warned me that there'd be days like this, and

24 Hours

Let the countdown begin.  I am nervous, excited, nauseated, emotional and tired.  Tomorrow is the big day.