Devil Inside...

Man o man have I been bad about updating.  I have been really pretty busy the past couple weeks.  I have a close friend going through a personal crisis, and as per usual, I extend myself to those in need around me (almost to a fault at times).  It has been an emotional couple weeks for him (and couple weeks to come for sure as well).  Though his woahs have nothing to do with me really, they definitely have been having an effect on me.  I am seeing that I need to use some of this pent up energy and get more exercise in.  Tonight I plan on

Falling Behind, Losing Momentum

It's been a pretty busy month, but I can't seem to figure out how.  Ever feel like you're running in place?  Working really hard, but not really going anywhere?  Yeah...  It's kind of like that right now.  I'm trying to find balance, but not doing a very good job of it.  I'm not going to make this post about bitching and moaning though.  I just need to reflect a little.  

I got my first fill on July 13.  I haven't experienced any of the dreaded sliming or PBing that I have heard people talk about.  I have experienced the "stuck" sensation though.

Tequila Meltdown

Well last night I finally had my my meltdown... My tequila meltdown.  I haven't done much drinking since my surgery, and I surely hadn't yet gotten drunk.  For some reason yesterday I got the bug.  I was extra bad with my eating and my boozing.  I had more total calories for one day yesterday than I had at all for one day since May.  My Nurse Practitioner and I had a discussion before my surgery, and we were talking about how just because you have surgery, it doesn't mean that you won't slip up.  You might not be able to have an entire pizza, or package of cookies, but you can definitely find yourself making extra poor choices and feeling a bit like you've fallen off the wagon.  Well yesterday I found that I fell off the wagon, on the ground, run over by the wagon, and chasing after it as I watched it rolling away as I cried "wait up!!".  Gio, my NP warned me that there'd be days like this, and

Surgery Day Breakdown!

Well gang, I'm back to work!  I'm feeling pretty well and back in front of a computer.  I have done small updates from my phone, but honestly didn't feel like looking at a computer for the last week, so I didn't!  I'm back in action though and thought I would give an account of my experience.  So are we ready??  Ok.  Lets go.

I'm officially NOT crazy!!

Psych evaluation is complete.  It was actually really nice to talk to this guy.  I was able to look at the whole picture a bit.  We talked about my history with weight issues and how they are related emotionally/mentally to my decision. 
 He asked a few questions at the end about my mental health history.  It was not a terrible experience by any means.  Not that I really expected it to be, but you can sometimes allow yourself to let your imagination run wild.  I had it in my noggin, this picture of myself trying desperately to convince this guy that I wasn't crazy for wanting to let someone go so far as to cut me open and put a device in me to make me stop eating.  No I'm not crazy at all!  Maybe I do think I'm a little nutty for it.  But, as anyone who knows me will probably attest, I am a little wackadoodle. 

Now, last stop will be on Thursday.  Back out to NJ for Nutrition and Pre-Op/Post-Op instructions and we set a date.  I'm so very ready!!

Expecations

Lying is something that bothers me.  I believe that people should be allowed to see the truth and make their own choices based upon it.  I do not like to be lied to, and I don't really feel comfortable with lying to others.  After a long talk with a friend last night, I came to the realization that I may be lying to people inadvertently by withholding my truths.