Feelin Hot!

I went out with some girlfriends last night to a magazine event in Manhattan last night.  I hadn't planned on going out really, so my outfit was a little mork work casual and a little less night club, but I have to say, I felt cute.  This morning I got up for work and realized that I had forgotten to pick up my laundry from the laundromat.  One of the great benefits of living in NYC is that

Tights... NOT Plus Sized.

I am wearing tights today...  NOT plus sized tights.  They are tights from the ladies department in a size XL.  I don't mind that they are size XL.  Not one bit.  For the simple fact that I am able to wear some cute sweater tights under my dress that are NOT plus sized and did not cost me a fortune is a NSV for me.  I am so damned proud to be wearing these silly tights today.  You couldn't tell me a thing.  Now, if only I could find a pair of boots that would zip up all the way...  That would be a huge accomplishment.  I have 20" calves and there are few companies that make them that big, and the ones that do... well, lets just say that the boots look cheap or manish.  I'll stick to booties in the meanwhile.  Today is a good day.  :-)

Filler up!

It's been a hectic and stressful couple of months around my way.  Thankfully I can say it is starting to ease a bit.  A few weeks back I had gotten an unfill to ease up my band.  With the stress at home, my apparent race to keep up with the speed of others eating around me, and will my lack of chewing skill I was getting stuck left and right.  Then I would absentmindedly chug some water on top of that... No Bueno.  So an unfill to take off some of the stress while I got myself back on track.  It was useful for a while, but as time went on, I noticed that I was able to eat most anything and I found myself pushing the boundaries while stress eating or when I was looking for comfort foods.  I needed to get with the program and realize that I HAD SURGERY FOR CRIPES SAKE.  So I booked an appointment with the nurse practicioner and headed off for a fill.  We decided to put in 0.5 mL.  This is the same amount that we had taken out previously when I felt too tight while under stress.  I was on clear liquids yesterday and today onto soft foods (though I only had a protein shake and a bowl of pea soup so far). 
Basically I had abandoned myself in my journey for a while in persuit of helping a friend.  While it's good to help the people around you, I think it's important to stick to my personal commitments to myself.  THIS WAS A HUGE COMMITMENT!!!  What the heck have I been doing?  So I'm officially back on the wagon.  Go me!

New Clothes!!!

I'm shrinking and so it's getting high time that I buy some new clothes.  I bought this sassy number from asos...

I also bought a couple more...

and...

I'm not quite out of the plus sized section, but I'm pretty sure by the spring I will be.  These dresses should hold me through the winter for work.  I am trying to buy things that I can style with belts, sweaters and such as they get too big.  Being that it's fall/winter, layering is expected so I'm not too worried. 

So how am I doing on the journey?  I have no idea!  I decided to stop stepping on the scale for a while.  I need to give it a break.  I started all this so that I would FEEL better.  Looking better is the bonus.  And the number on the scale is just that... A NUMBER.  I won't let it define my progress.  I'm enjoying watching my clothes get saggy on me.  While it's frustrating when looking for something to wear, it's kind of fun to redefine how I present myself to the world.  I'm so tired of wearing jersey knit and clothes with lycra and stretch!  I want to wear some nice fabrics!  I deserve it.  I work hard for my money and I deserve to feel good in the things that I spend that money on. 

You Haven't Been Kicking Hard Enough!!!

Yeah, I could blame this all on you... my readers...  Not encouraging me enough, or giving me a hard enough time, etc.  But in reality, I am the only one who can take the blame for slacking.  And boy have I been slacking.  I have had a friend staying with me for the past few weeks who is going through a major life crisis.  The kind where exes and children and lawyers are involved.  Things have been massively stressful for him, and as I have a tendency to get personally invested, I too have become stressed, unfocused and bigger.  Not really bigger.  That's an exaggeration, but I have not gotten smaller.  I haven't been working out (nearly at all).  I have been eating a bit poorly.  I have been consuming on average, a bit more booze.  And the stress had also caused my band to be soooo tight that I needed to have an unfill to be able to eat at all.  And now I'm a pig.  So... that being said.  I need to get myself back on track.  I feel as though my life has fallen off track a bit and I need to get focused on getting it together again.  I am committing myself to writing here on every Monday and Friday minimum, as to keep me accountable.  I will resume tracking my food intake daily.  I will also be sure to get moving more, at least 2-3 times a week for starters.  Wish me luck.  I need to keep my head on straight and learn to cope with having a house guest in crisis without taking it all on myself as well.  See you soon with positive reports! (I hope...)

Kick My Pants!

I've been stalled out on my losing for a couple weeks.  Only losing about a pound a week.  I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I should.  I've had some added stress for the last few weeks as well.  At one point I was losing rather quickly and I had been very motivated.  I had set a goal for myself to lose 75 lbs by Thanksgiving (my birthday).  Well needless to say

Devil Inside...

Man o man have I been bad about updating.  I have been really pretty busy the past couple weeks.  I have a close friend going through a personal crisis, and as per usual, I extend myself to those in need around me (almost to a fault at times).  It has been an emotional couple weeks for him (and couple weeks to come for sure as well).  Though his woahs have nothing to do with me really, they definitely have been having an effect on me.  I am seeing that I need to use some of this pent up energy and get more exercise in.  Tonight I plan on