I went to see the doctor for a regularly scheduled visit, and had told him about the fact that I was struggling so hard to get my weight under control. It was at that moment, he said the few words that have changed my life. "Have you considered a banding procedure?". I had considered it. I never had the courage to ask about it though. I never thought in a million years that my insurance would cover it. I thought that I would be looked at as ridiculous by my doctor. I even thought, even though I was pushing 300 pounds that I wasn't overweight enough to be considered for surgery (silly me, I had a BMI over 40, what was I thinking... denial anyone?). Well it was just that simple. After my doctor made that comment, I went back to my desk (I work in the hospital where the doc office is) and I started looking into bariatric surgeons in my hospital. I found that we have an excellent center here and that is where my journey began. I made my decision in April and 2 months later I would be banded and on my way.
This journey has been far from easy. I have good days and bad. Stuck days and loose days. Emotional eating (holy ice cream Batman!!) and I have good eating days. So far I've lost about 70+ pounds. It's hard to know exactly how much I've lost, because I avoided the scale like mad at my top weight. Actually this picture is a clear indicator as to how big I had gotten:
I am sitting next to my best friend Riki and this is her Bridal Shower. You can see the platter of cookies that I brought with me to Dallas all the way from Little Italy in NYC. I look like I ate that many before I got on the plane. When I saw this picture of me tagged on Facebook, I was MORTIFIED. What had happened to me?? When did I get this big?? WTF!? Who is that?? Yeah. I was shocked to say the least. I had completely gotten away from myself. The following spring I had my surgery and am pleased to say that I am well on my way to a healthier happier me. I have not been fixated too hard on the number of pounds lost, but really how I feel. I did NOT feel good then. I am happy to say I feel much different. Not only have I gone down from a size 22/24 to a size 14/16, I have regained a boatload of my confidence.
This is me this week in the dressing room at Anne Taylor Loft:
The dress I'm wearing is a size Large. I haven't worn a size Large since high school. This is a huge accomplishment for me. This is my first visit to a store that doesn't specially carry plus sizes. I haven't been able to shop in a mainstream store in years if at all in my adult life. It was such a nice feeling. Not only did I shop there, I wasn't trying on the biggest size they had. No scavaging for XL and hoping it's cut big enough to fit. I was in nearly all Larges. I was speechless. The saleswoman that helped me was amazing. As a matter of fact I need to write a letter to the store to commend her. Hopefully they will acknowledge her. I was close to tears so many times and at one point needed to sit down to regain my composure. All those years of being the big girl are starting to fade away. I have a long way to go and this journey has really only just begun, but I feel amazing. I am happy with my decision. I wouldn't take it back for the world.