Wednesday, June 27, 2012

One Year Bandiversary! With Picture Updates!!

Before Surgery and >>>> About a month ago

I'm a little late to posting this (about 2 weeks).  But I have officially hit my one year bandiversary.  I thought I'd take this time to reflect.  When I started this journey, it was a comment that someone said that had got me going to where I am right now.  I complimented a friend who had been working really hard to get in shape, and was succeeding.  He said "it's really important to me to be in the best shape that I can be, I owe it to myself and I want to be a healthy parent one day and be around for my kids."  He also said a couple other things and all of it hit home really hard for me.  I was 290+ pounds at the time.  The highest that I had ever been.  Over the next few days I went into a panic.  I had looked at some pictures of myself in my best friend's wedding.  My ass looked like it needed a room of it's own!  It had taken on a life of it's own and my bestie and I had an ongoing joke about my ass taking over the pictures.  As funny as it was, I knew that I had to make some serious goals for myself and to get my act in gear.  A combination of heartbreak, health issues, and just generalized all around depression and lack of motivation had led me to my highest weight ever.  No matter what I seemed to do, I couldn't seem to escape this pit that I had gotten myself into.  I joined the gym, did every diet from Cabbage Soup to Weight Watchers to South Beach to the Lemonade Fasts.  Nothing was touching my much needed weightloss. 

I went to see the doctor for a regularly scheduled visit, and had told him about the fact that I was struggling so hard to get my weight under control.  It was at that moment, he said the few words that have changed my life.  "Have you considered a banding procedure?".  I had considered it.  I never had the courage to ask about it though.  I never thought in a million years that my insurance would cover it.  I thought that I would be looked at as ridiculous by my doctor.  I even thought, even though I was pushing 300 pounds that I wasn't overweight enough to be considered for surgery (silly me, I had a BMI over 40, what was I thinking... denial anyone?).  Well it was just that simple.  After my doctor made that comment, I went back to my desk (I work in the hospital where the doc office is) and I started looking into bariatric surgeons in my hospital.  I found that we have an excellent center here and that is where my journey began.  I made my decision in April and 2 months later I would be banded and on my way. 

This journey has been far from easy.  I have good days and bad.  Stuck days and loose days.  Emotional eating (holy ice cream Batman!!) and I have good eating days.  So far I've lost about 70+ pounds.  It's hard to know exactly how much I've lost, because I avoided the scale like mad at my top weight.  Actually this picture is a clear indicator as to how big I had gotten:
I am sitting next to my best friend Riki and this is her Bridal Shower.  You can see the platter of cookies that I brought with me to Dallas all the way from Little Italy in NYC.  I look like I ate that many before I got on the plane.  When I saw this picture of me tagged on Facebook, I was MORTIFIED.  What had happened to me??  When did I get this big??  WTF!?  Who is that??  Yeah.  I was shocked to say the least.  I had completely gotten away from myself.  The following spring I had my surgery and am pleased to say that I am well on my way to a healthier happier me.  I have not been fixated too hard on the number of pounds lost, but really how I feel.  I did NOT feel good then.  I am happy to say I feel much different.  Not only have I gone down from a size 22/24 to a size 14/16, I have regained a boatload of my confidence. 

This is me this week in the dressing room at Anne Taylor Loft:

The dress I'm wearing is a size Large.  I haven't worn a size Large since high school.  This is a huge accomplishment for me.  This is my first visit to a store that doesn't specially carry plus sizes.  I haven't been able to shop in a mainstream store in years if at all in my adult life.  It was such a nice feeling.  Not only did I shop there, I wasn't trying on the biggest size they had.  No scavaging for XL and hoping it's cut big enough to fit.  I was in nearly all Larges.  I was speechless.  The saleswoman that helped me was amazing.  As a matter of fact I need to write a letter to the store to commend her.  Hopefully they will acknowledge her.  I was close to tears so many times and at one point needed to sit down to regain my composure.  All those years of being the big girl are starting to fade away.  I have a long way to go and this journey has really only just begun, but I feel amazing.  I am happy with my decision.  I wouldn't take it back for the world.  

Thursday, June 14, 2012

My very first "10 Things Thursday"

Somehow I missed this trend of "Ten Things Thursday" and I'm not even sure I'm going to do this right.  I'm guessing that we list 10 random things that has happened to us in the past week.  So here we go!

  1. I started back taking classes again.  I'm now doing shit 7 days a week... in the summer...  what was I thinking.  M-F work, and Sa & Su school 9-1.  Good thing I'm enjoying the class and the professor otherwise I might have bailed on the idea after the first weekend of missed beach time.
  2. My poor boyfriend has got some sort of crazy eye infection in BOTH eyes and has been home on the miserable side for 4 days now.  Men are not very good at being sick.  I am a little too accomodating too, but I know what a baby I can be when I'm sick, so I spoil away.
  3. Today is my bandiversary!  One year today I got this miserable device put in me and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I will have another post about this later though, once I take some pics when I get home.
  4. I don't know if I can come up with 10 random things... this is crazy!  I am feeling much better after having to have an emergency unfill on saturday.  I tried to eat myself out of house and home yesterday though, so they better fill me back up quick!
  5. I am roommate free... the way to be!  This has been the best part of this week.  I have so much room to BREATHE!!!  I forgot how nice it is to have a space this big and to know that whatever I put in it can only be messed up by me or my man who I can promptly kill.  No one will ever treat your stuff the way that you do.  They will break things, throw things away, take things that aren't theirs (like air conditioners) and just act like it is allllll cool.  I'm over it.  Never again in life will I have a roommate.
  6. My niece graduates from high school this week.  That makes me officially an adult.  Somehow that is the event that did it.  (not passing the age of 35 or credit card payments or anything like that).
  7. None of my clothes fit.  I look like a hobo.  No wait... That would be an insult to hobos.
  8. Man... 3 more to go.  who knew this was so tuff?  I'm getting my new sofa delivered this weekend!!  :)  No more college dormatory hand me down looking furniture!!
  9. Two more... hmm... My feet shrunk.  My shoes aren't fitting.  Did anyone else run into this issue??  I'm turing into one of those annoying people who clomp... clomp... clomp... down the halls at work and it's making me bananas.
  10. I'm searching for new ways to get in my leafy greens as they always get stuck.  Has anyone tried their hand at juicing and if so did it get you feeling good??  Did it break your pockets??
Well there you have it kid... My first attempt.  Hope it wasn't too boring.  :-/

Monday, June 11, 2012


I hadn't realized that I have not put up a new pic in a while.  This is almost 10 pounds ago, but here.  Have a look anyway.  I'll take some newby pics for the Bandiversary!

Ups & Downs

It's been a bit of a tough week.  I have been really excited to see the scale moving in the right direction (and consistently at that), however, I had a terrible episode this weekend that resulted in me having to be seen emergently and having all of my fluid removed from my band.  This most recent fill which was about 6 weeks ago, I had a small amount of fluid added to my band.  It was jussst enough to get me to my green zone.  Tight enough to keep me from going overboard, loose enough that I was comfortable eating without much trouble... Until last week.