It's been a bit of a tough week. I have been really excited to see the scale moving in the right direction (and consistently at that), however, I had a terrible episode this weekend that resulted in me having to be seen emergently and having all of my fluid removed from my band. This most recent fill which was about 6 weeks ago, I had a small amount of fluid added to my band. It was jussst enough to get me to my green zone. Tight enough to keep me from going overboard, loose enough that I was comfortable eating without much trouble... Until last week.
I figured that the tightness I was experiencing was from the onset of my menstrual cycle. This seems to be common among us female bandsters. I wrote off the tightness to that. Also we had a bout of wacky weather too. Something I've noticed is when the temperature and humidity make wacky shifts, I may experience some shifts in the tightness in my band. I'm sure the docs will probably write this off, but I'm not the only banded person I know who experiences this. So again, I felt I had a reason for the way that I was feeling. After about 3 days of increasing tightness, I went to fluids and that was about it. If I tried anything else I would get stuck or just plain vomit. No sliming, no PBing, straight upchuck~gag reflex and all (sorry for being so graphic). Then the next couple days were just impossible. What I mean by impossible is that NOTHING would stay down. Little would get down and NOTHING would stay down. I had a horrible pain that came in my right shoulderblade that I couldn't find any relief for and I feel consistently nauseated and would puke a few times an hour. I finally couldn't take anymore. I had been trying to brave out my cycle and thought it would all calm down in a couple days, but it became clear that I couldn't do it anymore. I was seen by the residents at the hospital on a Saturday and had my fluid removed... again.
This is really disappointing. My one year "Bandiversary" is coming up on Thursday and I wanted to be in celebratory mode, but I feel a bit somber. This has been a tough journey and stays consistently tough. There are rough days and really rough days. Having a band means no more mindless eating. You do not ever just get to relax when it comes to food. It is always something you have to consider. It affects when, where and what you eat, which in turn affects who you eat with, and can sometimes decide for you whether or not you will attend social and or family functions centered around food. I would be lying if I said that I hadn't turned down invitations because I know that I don't want to make a spectacle of the fact that there won't be options for me if it is a food function or gathering at a restaurant with friends or coworkers. I should note, that I did name this post Ups & Downs. Not just downs. The up of this past week is that I am at my lowest weight in years. I have been going through my closets and getting rid of things once again. It feels great to know that I will never have to wear some of this stuff again. Though at the moment, money is a bit tight and I can't imagine spending too much on things that actually do fit correctly as I have no idea for how long they'll get used. This might just be a summer that isn't too fashionable. Plain Jane in 2012. It's ok though because I'm on my path to a healthier me. I'll get through this bump in the road too