So now that I've gotten myself mentally prepared to have the Lap-Band surgery, I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for actually being smaller. I'll see women on the street and wonder if my body will look like theirs. I try to envision myself smaller, fitter, and a 'regular' size.
I honestly do love my shape. I just wish I had magical shrinky dink powers to make myself relatively the same shape, just smaller. When I was a kid we had Smurf Shrinky Dinks. You would color in these plastic photos of smurfs, pop em in the oven, and out they'd come about 1/2 the size of the original. I know that this surgery isn't going to be installing a magical device to shrink me down. I realize that I'm going to have to work at it and use it as the tool it is to get the weight off. Believe me... I know. They beat that into you with every piece of literature, web-site, video and advice forum that you see. I GET IT.
I see some women's shape. I like to call it the toothpick. I hope and pray that I'm not going to be straight up and down! I'm sure people who know me are laughing at this. We all know I have an impressively round rump, and I'm pretty stacked up north too, so it's doubtful that either of these could possibly disappear. I'm excited at the prospect of new clothes. I'm super excited to buy pants from a regular store. Size 12 is the number I'm looking for. Hell 14 will be an accomplishment, but 12... That's the magic number. I will probably cry on the day that I pull on a pair of size 12's and zip em up. I haven't seen that happen since high school. I remember setting that goal for myself when I was in the 10th or 11th grade. To get back into a size 12. I was a whopping 14 at the time.