Tense

My pro-op diet starts on May 31.  Just 8 days away.  Things feel like they're becoming more and more real as the days pass. 
I see a steady shift in my attitude toward food.  Right now I'm doing a little of the last supper thing and eating stuff that will be difficult/off limits to eat for a while, though I am eating much less.  I've had a few emotional ups and downs the past few days.  Mentally I feel a little exhausted by all of this and ready for the surgery to be over with already.  I went for a deep tissue massage yesterday to relieve some of this tension and I feel like I got my ass kicked.  Seriously, I am much less tense, but I am definitly bruised and think I prefer swedish massage going forward.  My body just doesn't respond super well to deep tissue digging.  I'm a little ouchy today and it's making me a little on the grumpy side.