Wednesday, December 28, 2011

MASSIVE UNFILL... On the holidays??

I made it into the green zone!!!  Yayyyy!!!... scrrrrrrrrrrrt... Let's not celebrate too quickly.  I was sooo in the green zone.  I was happy, restricted, losing and all was right with the world.  Then I had a bite of steak.  Motherlovin steak.  The minute I swallowed it, I knew it was a problem.  I felt it moving down my gullet and thinking, please don't get stuck... please... please...  And of course.  Stuck.  I felt all sorts of stuck, so I just didn't eat.  At all.  Fluids for 2 days thinking that the steak had passed and that maybe I was just a bit inflammed.  NOPE.  After being stuck for about 4-5 days and getting inflammed to the point that water wouldn't go down, I relented.  I went to the doctor.  We decided to take out a large amount of fluid.  December 22.  I was so disappointed that I had effed up my newfound green zone over a dagnamit piece of steak that I didn't really want in the first place.  So I had a massive unfill.  They took me way down and had me drinking mass amounts of fluid to dislodge any and everything stuck up in my belly.  Unfortunately, it took about 7 or 8 sticks to get into my port.  I have a massive bruise about 3 inches in diameter in the middle of my belly.  Hematoma central.  Ugly as all get out.

I spent the holiday with a band that is wide open.  Surprisingly, I ate pretty darn well.  I must say that my habits are definitely changing.  Even though I knew that I could eat any and everything I wanted, I did keep it pretty tame.  I did take the opportunity to get a couple cravings out of the way that have been driving me a little batty since getting banded.  I had some pizza.  I almost served myself 2 slices and thought better of it.  I began to eat and found that I could only even get down about 1/2 of a piece.  After that I was satiated and didn't even want anymore.  Craving complete.  The other thing I wanted was a sandwich.  Good old regular sandwich.  And I had one.  Well, 1/2 of one.  I'm learning the massive difference between what my brain tells me I want and what my body shows me that I actually need.  It's a big difference too.  Tomorrow I go to get refilled.  I hope we can find my green zone again with this fill.  I pray that I don't have to get stuck 80 times to find my port again.  I might have a breakdown if I do.  And tonight...  in anticipation of restriction, I will have some sushi.  Kill that last little craving and get back on the wagon.  Even though I've been wide open for the span of the holiday, I have managed to only gain a whopping 1 pound.  I anticipated more, but it's looking like I was able to keep it together.  How was everyone else's holiday??


  1. I feel you on the unfills! I have yet to get an actual fill. Im a new follower and excited to see you go through this journey! xo

  2. Good job on making good food choices over the holidays and with not much in your band!