Thursday, July 21, 2011
Well last night I finally had my my meltdown... My tequila meltdown. I haven't done much drinking since my surgery, and I surely hadn't yet gotten drunk. For some reason yesterday I got the bug. I was extra bad with my eating and my boozing. I had more total calories for one day yesterday than I had at all for one day since May. My Nurse Practitioner and I had a discussion before my surgery, and we were talking about how just because you have surgery, it doesn't mean that you won't slip up. You might not be able to have an entire pizza, or package of cookies, but you can definitely find yourself making extra poor choices and feeling a bit like you've fallen off the wagon. Well yesterday I found that I fell off the wagon, on the ground, run over by the wagon, and chasing after it as I watched it rolling away as I cried "wait up!!". Gio, my NP warned me that there'd be days like this, and
he was completely right. Yesterday I was feeling a lot of stress and I wasn't coping with it very well. I found myself face first in a glass of tequila and then in a plate of food. The food choice wasn't the worst, but it could have been much much MUCH better. The tequila added up to be over 500 calories. (Yes... I had that much. Don't judge me!)
So now here I am, a day later. Doing what Gio also told me to do, and I'm looking back at why I felt the way I did. I'm seeing my triggers. And I'm seeing that I went to an old habit of stuffing my face and boozing it up in the face of stress. What could I have done differently? I could have taken my anxiety meds, went for a walk, had a conversation with someone about how I was feeling, etc. I have to utilize better coping skills at times like that. Otherwise I'll end up where I am today. A pound heavier and feeling crummy. What are some things you do to cope with stress that you might have turned to food for in the past?
Did I mention that Saturday is National Tequila Day?? I will be participating.