New Job, Mom's Rock & 8 Weeks Post-Op

Tomorrow is my 8 week mark post-revision to the sleeve.  I am still chugging along.  They say, slow and steady wins the race right?  (I keep telling myself that hoping I'll believe it one of these times)  Things are progressing, albeit slow.  I've been about 210 for a little bit now.  I admit, I haven't planned nearly as much as I should lately.  I KNOW that I do better when I plan, but that hasn't been the case much.  I have some non-scale victories to report though!  My mom is super sweet and the cutest thing ever.  She sent me $100 to get a few new items to wear to my new job (I'll get to that in a minute...).  In NYC, $100 doesn't usually go very far, so I took my ass to Target and hit the mark down racks, then to Old Navy and hit up whatever sales were going on.  Here is me 8-weeks post op, taking a pic to send to my mom to prove I was buying clothes with her money and not making student loan payments:

Now here is my victory.  I am wearing size 16 pants in this pic (don't mind the crazy hair day I'm having, I think I used a fork for a comb or something), and the pants are actually a little too big!  Not only that, both the top and the sweater are size large and fit just fine!  NO XL's or XXL's here!!  That's a first!  I don't know how long it's been since I was able to be totally out of the XL zone.  I'm shrinking before my very own eyes!  Even though the scale isn't screaming "you've made it to the 100's!" just yet, my body is whispering (...you're almost there!).  I am committing in the very moment to go walking a minimum of 3 lunchtimes this week.  

I mentioned a little while back that I was interviewing for a new position in my hospital where I work.  Well I got the job!!  Woot!!  I gave my 2-week notice and will be starting my new position on October 14.  I am very excited to move on to something more challenging.  Of course this means tons more work, with not a huge pay increase, but I'm hoping that I will be able to prove myself important enough very soon to get a promotion that my new boss said we will have to get the compensation department to note and pay me accordingly.  All in all this has been an excellent couple of weeks.  I have been totally distracted from meal planning and school because of all this new job business, but I'm prepping to have a great fall season.  Squash recipes await!

Ten Things Thursday aka Coming Out of My Slump

1. I'm NOT crazy (and neither are you Dawnya!).  I spoke to the doc and nutritionist and both agree that I have been experiencing Dumping Syndrome on occasion.  This is usually due to poor food/beverage choices.  Funny thing is, I don't make them often, but when I make em, they're pretty bad and the symptoms SUCK ASS.  At least now I know what the heck is going on.  I had thought this only happens with bypass patients, but they assured me that it is now becoming evident that VSG patients also experience this too.
2.  Took a quiz in my Spanish class Monday.  Had no idea about it since I took off class on 9/11, so I quickly learned all new material 10 min before class and still rocked an 88%!
3. Saw my doc/nutritionist for my 6 week follow up as I mentioned before.  I've lost 16 pounds since my surgery date.  I was concerned with a recent stall but I am encouraged by my visit.  I think all will be ok. 
4. Exercise needs priority.  I need to get on this!  Feel free to hold me accountable!
5. I'm still waiting to hear the "official" news on the job I interviewed for.  Seems like it's a Jewish holiday every other day this month.  I'm on hold again. lol.  Keep your fingers crossed.  It's pretty official that I got the job, just all the kinks need to get worked out.
6. I still really want to get a bike.  Just a beach cruiser or something not too crazy difficult to manage.  Anyone got an old one they want to donate to a fat girl, feel free to speak up! ;)
7. The weekend is only 24 short hours away.  I'm stoked.
8. I got volunteered by my fiance to cook dinner for his family for Thanksgiving.  This NYer is going to be cooking a big southern family a Thanksgiving dinner...  IN ALABAMA.  No pressure there!  Not to mention, I'll probably not even have dinner, as we all know that just taking bites to test for seasoning etc will likely be enough to fill me up!  Is it weird that I'm already planning and it's 2 months away?
9. I miss my mama and want her to come visit, but I know it's expensive to fly and that she's saving to come to the wedding in Alabama next summer, so I feel bad even considering asking her to come.  But I miss her.
10. I'm excited to see the Harvest Moon tonight!  The man and I are driving to a nice lookout point tonight at the very south end of Brooklyn to get a nice view.

And there you have it!  Whew... didn't know if I would get through that one!  I'm def in a good mood today.  Hoping nothing knocks it down.

Insurance Companies Suck the Life Out of Everything

I've been trying to get myself to blog for a week or so now.  I've been wrestling with the emotions that have come up since my insurance company denied my revision surgery.  That's right, you heard me correctly.  I will not be having revision surgery, at least not any time soon.  I have been denied.  At first I was denied because they said that my BMI did not meet the requirement of 40.  Mind you my BMI at the time of my last visit was 39.6.  3 lousy pounds more and I would be a 40.  I ate some ice cream.  Voila 40!  Then my surgeon had a peer to peer call with my company and they then denied me based on the fact that it hasn't not been 2 years since my lap band surgery.  That point is 9 months from now.  Even if I hit the 2 year mark, I would still need to have a BMI of 40 for revision and that would mean not losing a single pound from now till June.  WTF.  So even if I do wait, I have to try not to lose any weight lest I be too small to fix this device in me??  Needless to say I am frustrated.  I've gotten past the depression that initially came and after fits of trying to find alternate ways to deal with this (including self pay at $23,000, or going to Mexico for surgery a more modest $5,000~~which my boyfriend vehemently disapproved of), I have finally come up for air and am dealing with this with a clearer head. 

I decided to give the band yet ANOTHER shot to get me sick to give me restriction.  I have had numerous fills and unfills and at the present have a whopping 1cc in my band.  I'm going to have the doctor give me a TINY fill on the 20th.  I decided to proceed with my pre-op diet just as I would have if I were to have gone ahead with the surgery.  I figure this will give me a little kickstart in the downward direction of losing.  On monday I started the mostly liquid diet and am currently down 4.6 lbs in 5 days.  I haven't been SUPER strict with the diet, but have been following it pretty closely.  It's friday, and the weekends are usually a little tough for me, but I'm determined.  I am also going to join the YMCA this weekend with my man.  We made the decision to be healthier together.  I think it will be a good thing to have something health centered in our relationship too.  So here I go again.  Wish me luck.  Oh, and here's a pic of myself and the man-o-mine on the beach a couple weeks back.  My sexy beast over there.  Yeah, I still have a crush after all this time.

Big Changes

Yeah... That's pretty much how I feel (and quite possibly look too!).  The past couple months have been tense to say the least.  Lots of good, and some bad, and some just plain old changes.  I officially have a boyfriend these days!  I am so lucky to have this amazingly supportive guy in my life right now.  I can't ask for a better partner.  We met over a year ago, kept in touch long distance for about a year, then took the leap.  A GIANT leap! 

6 Month Bandiversary



I know I'm a couple days late, but Wednesday was my 6 month Bandiversary.  I cannot believe it's been six months.  Here are a few of my achievements having lost 50 pounds thus far:

• I can now put on boots or shoes without struggling to pull my leg up toward me and holding my breath.  I used to be embarrassed to have to put on shoes that took any effort in front of people.  I would intentionally wear easy to slip on and off shoes if I knew I was going to be in front of people to lace or put shoes on.
• I can cross my legs pretty comfortably.  That means without holding up the crossed leg with my hand to keep them folded.  I can also cross at the ankles more comfortably too.  I feel so lady like!! (I no longer sit like a linebacker)
• Pretty much all but a few pairs of jeans are now too big on me!  I need to shop, but I'm hesitant.  I have been blessed with a friend who has had surgery before me (and who's an overachiever in the weightloss dept).  She's been passing down some great in between clothes to me.  Thanks LR!!
• I can go up and down the stairs more comfortably (and quickly!)
• I fit in most chairs easy breezy!
• I can now wear a sweater under my winter coat and not feel like a stuffed sausage!  Oh, and did I mention that I can button my winter coat and still have room??
• Time for new shoes too!  My feet are shrinking! Any excuse to shop...

Those are just a few of the great changes that come to mind.  I am discovering things daily that are making me smile.  For example, last night I was out with two girlfriends, both of which are "small".  One is petite, and a tiny little English elf, and the other is tall, super slim and huge knockers.  Last night for the first time in ages, I didn't feel like the fat friend.  I am still MUCH bigger than either of these two girls, but I felt completely comfortable.  I felt attractive and confident.  Not that I was much of one for a lack of confidence before, but now having the physical confidence to match the personal was a big achievement.  All week I have worn dresses to work, dressed in things I had considered "special occasion" clothes, and felt great about myself. 
So here are a couple pics, a before and now if you will.  I took the pic in the sweater dress on the 6 month anniversary.  Whatchya think?

BEFORE

(Taken 6 days Post-Op)

TODAY

(Taken 6 Month Post-Op)

Kick My Pants!

I've been stalled out on my losing for a couple weeks.  Only losing about a pound a week.  I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I should.  I've had some added stress for the last few weeks as well.  At one point I was losing rather quickly and I had been very motivated.  I had set a goal for myself to lose 75 lbs by Thanksgiving (my birthday).  Well needless to say

Tequila Meltdown

Well last night I finally had my my meltdown... My tequila meltdown.  I haven't done much drinking since my surgery, and I surely hadn't yet gotten drunk.  For some reason yesterday I got the bug.  I was extra bad with my eating and my boozing.  I had more total calories for one day yesterday than I had at all for one day since May.  My Nurse Practitioner and I had a discussion before my surgery, and we were talking about how just because you have surgery, it doesn't mean that you won't slip up.  You might not be able to have an entire pizza, or package of cookies, but you can definitely find yourself making extra poor choices and feeling a bit like you've fallen off the wagon.  Well yesterday I found that I fell off the wagon, on the ground, run over by the wagon, and chasing after it as I watched it rolling away as I cried "wait up!!".  Gio, my NP warned me that there'd be days like this, and

Daily Changes

This week I hit the one month mark after surgery.  As I am here having my Sunday morning coffee, I started to think about what is different now about my day to day from before I started this journey.  

• I drink tons of water.  I go out of my way to drink as much of it as possible.  Since my surgery, many people have commented that my skin looks so clear (was it not clear before??).