Insurance Companies Suck the Life Out of Everything

I've been trying to get myself to blog for a week or so now.  I've been wrestling with the emotions that have come up since my insurance company denied my revision surgery.  That's right, you heard me correctly.  I will not be having revision surgery, at least not any time soon.  I have been denied.  At first I was denied because they said that my BMI did not meet the requirement of 40.  Mind you my BMI at the time of my last visit was 39.6.  3 lousy pounds more and I would be a 40.  I ate some ice cream.  Voila 40!  Then my surgeon had a peer to peer call with my company and they then denied me based on the fact that it hasn't not been 2 years since my lap band surgery.  That point is 9 months from now.  Even if I hit the 2 year mark, I would still need to have a BMI of 40 for revision and that would mean not losing a single pound from now till June.  WTF.  So even if I do wait, I have to try not to lose any weight lest I be too small to fix this device in me??  Needless to say I am frustrated.  I've gotten past the depression that initially came and after fits of trying to find alternate ways to deal with this (including self pay at $23,000, or going to Mexico for surgery a more modest $5,000~~which my boyfriend vehemently disapproved of), I have finally come up for air and am dealing with this with a clearer head. 

I decided to give the band yet ANOTHER shot to get me sick to give me restriction.  I have had numerous fills and unfills and at the present have a whopping 1cc in my band.  I'm going to have the doctor give me a TINY fill on the 20th.  I decided to proceed with my pre-op diet just as I would have if I were to have gone ahead with the surgery.  I figure this will give me a little kickstart in the downward direction of losing.  On monday I started the mostly liquid diet and am currently down 4.6 lbs in 5 days.  I haven't been SUPER strict with the diet, but have been following it pretty closely.  It's friday, and the weekends are usually a little tough for me, but I'm determined.  I am also going to join the YMCA this weekend with my man.  We made the decision to be healthier together.  I think it will be a good thing to have something health centered in our relationship too.  So here I go again.  Wish me luck.  Oh, and here's a pic of myself and the man-o-mine on the beach a couple weeks back.  My sexy beast over there.  Yeah, I still have a crush after all this time.