Flipping the Switch

Suffered a bit of insomnia last night.  Had a belly ache that I think was induced by the nerves that I mentioned yesterday.  I had wanted things to hurry up and now that they are, I had a moment of panic. 

Holy Nerves Batman!!

Soooo my consultation appointment just got catapulted from being 8 weeks away to 12 days away. 

Expecations

Lying is something that bothers me.  I believe that people should be allowed to see the truth and make their own choices based upon it.  I do not like to be lied to, and I don't really feel comfortable with lying to others.  After a long talk with a friend last night, I came to the realization that I may be lying to people inadvertently by withholding my truths. 

Shrinky Dinky

So now that I've gotten myself mentally prepared to have the Lap-Band surgery, I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for actually being smaller.  I'll see women on the street and wonder if my body will look like theirs.  I try to envision myself smaller, fitter, and a 'regular' size. 

Settling In and Sharing With Famalam

The initial "OMG, I might actually do this" is starting to wane a little.  I'm sure that feeling will arise again when I get closer to my appointment with the Nurse Practitioner and Dietitian (both on the same day!).  I have been doing all sorts of research. 

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...

It's a very good place to start.

I have recently made the decision to take control of the one thing in my life that I have not been able to get in control of.  Ever.  My weight has been the bane to my existence for as long as I can remember.  I recall struggling with my weight as far back as the 6th grade.  School pictures revealed to me for the first time that my weight was ballooning.